Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they dont have balls to scratch.....:P

Boy: Mom what's pussy?
Mom: Pussy is what keeps this family toghether.

A fantastic signboard in highways 4 encouraging slow driving…..
.
.
“Mr. Late”
.
is always
better than..
.
“Late Mr.!”

A lady walks into the drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some arsenic.

"Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?"

"To kill my husband."

"I can't sell you arsenic to kill a person!"

The lady lays down a photo of a man and a woman in a compromising position.

The man is her husband and the woman is the pharmacist's wife.

He takes the photo, and nods. "I didn't realize you had a prescription!"

After monday and tuesday even the calender says W T F

A GUY suspected that his WIFE was cheating on him, so he hired a Chinese detective... The cheapest one he could find.

This is his report:-

Most honorable Sir,

You leave house. I watch house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she go hotel. I climb tree. I look window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he.. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. I fall off tree. I no see.

No fee,
Cheng Lee

The M0st Funniest Situati0n In Student Life
We Have N0 Idea What To Write In the Exam Paper
N the Supervis0r Comes aNd Says,
“Plzz C0ver Ur Answer Sheet”

She Said Fuck You, I said You're Missing The Tool ! :D :P

Minimum 15 Types Of
Facebooker ' s:
1. Over Photo Editors
2. Extremely Frequent Status
Updaters
3. Page Likers
4. Attention Seekers
5. Wall Posters6. Farmviller s
7. Cars For Profile Picturers
8. Depressing Status
Updaters
9. Spammers
10. Swearers
11. Constant Status Likers
12. Stalkers
13. POKERS
Statusers
14. Inboxers
15. Chatters
WHICH type of Facebooker Are You ?

Why Do We Press The Buttons Of The Remote Harder
Yet
We Know The Batteries Are Dead ... ?
The Same Reason We Press Harder When We Want "Mario"
To Jump Higher / Further... !!

Facebook Fact
Every 0ne Makes An
Account For Friendship
And Then Becomes
...Addicte d To Collect
"LIKES" . . . =P =D

TRUE BRAVERY is when you arrived home late at night and you see your mom with a broom in her hand but still you said:

"hey mom, still cleaning?" :-)

In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name
Banta:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Banta: You see my legs, and tell me.

A man is getting into the shower

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs
downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the
next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I"ll give you $
800 to drop that towel."
After thinking that she has a chance earning $800
within a minute, the woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob, aftera few seconds,
Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel andgoes
back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband
asks, "Who was that?"
"It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "Did he say anything
about the $800 he owes me?"

a story

on my birthday
My wife didn't wish me
My parents forgot and so did my kids.
I went to work
As i entered my cabin my P.A said
......."Happy birthday Boss!"
I felt special
She asked me for lunch
After lunch she invited me to her apartment
We went there
She said
"Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute?"
"OK", i said in a sexy mood
She came out 5 minutes later with a cake
&
My wife,My parents,My kids, My friends and My colleague.
All screaming "SURPRISE"
And
I was waiting on the sofa,
NAAKED